Thank you so much for the letters and everything you do... Mom... I love you. More and more, this mission is changing my perspective on the family. I wouldn´t trade my family for ANYTHING. I keep saying it every single week, and I will KEEP saying it until people truly understand the importance of their family. What I´m feeling isn´t home sickness... It´s just... Ah, I don´t know. I appreciate my family so much more now that they´re gone, 6,000 miles away. Yesterday (Sunday) we were visiting a family after church, and then the rest of their family came over. They had 4 generations of family in the small room... And I just smiled. I told them... IF there´s one thing I miss from home... It´s This. We don´t understand or realize the importance of our family. Family is everything for our Heavenly Father. It is his one and solo mission to bring us all back to Him. Can you imagine how He felt, knowing He´d be leaving us to choose for ourselves, with the chance that we might reject Him and Life with Him???!!! I can´t imagine... My dream is to get off that plane and have my entire family close by me. That is what life is all about. I´ve figured it out... Took you long enough, E. Cuthbert... There´s a reason the family is the most important unit in the church, and in the world.
Well, I was with you, Mom. I didn´t think Manuel was ready... And sadly, I was right. He had his baptismal interview on Thursday, and our District Leader said he was ready, he just needed friends to help support him. E. Rojas has been saying this whole time that he KNOWS he´s ready. I, knowing Manuel a lot better than that, had my doubts, sadly. We got to his house Saturday morning to pick him up in a car for his baptism. And he wouldn´t come. He was very angry, talking about how he didn´t like the baptism interview questions, and how he has to clean his clothes, chop wood, things like that. During this whole time, I tried my best to persuade him to come, but he wouldn´t budge. E. Rojas was taken aback, and didn´t say a single word the entire time... I hate to say I told you so. :( AAHH!! I just want BAPTISMS!!! What is it that I´m doing wrong?? I´m in a city in Argentina, with a companion that if given the option, will sleep in till 10, and not work. I have been in the mission for 4 months, and already, I am in charge of everything that happens! It is a lot to deal with! To top off the cake, E. Rojas pulled out a mini laptop this morning... That is a FORBIDDEN on the mission. I´m telling my Mish President about that in my email. Mom, I loved the advice you gave me about service, to love him. At this moment in time, I don´t even have the desire to love him. But this is a sin. This is not a Christ like example of the love He would show. We humans are so imperfect. Lower than the dust. Me, more than anyone. I can´t even like the idea of loving my companion right now, and for that one reason, I have a lot of repenting to do. The mission is teaching me so many things, and I feel like this email is turning into a venting letter more than anything else. I just want to better myself, and help others. How can I do that with a companion who isn´t willing to put in the work that I´m putting in? There´s a reason we´re companions. I can´t figure it out. More and more time on my knees, I know I need to better myself in so many ways. Gah, I need the help of my Savior right now. I am trying my hardest to become a missionary. So many people go on missions, do missionary work... But how many really come home having BECOME a missionary? Kolt, My teachers in the MTC, Kass... My uncles... Them, yes. Many others, no. I will NOT fail at this. The question is just... HOW do I do everything, without having the advice of people who have already gone through these types of experiences? How alone I really am down here... This mission is the biggest test of my life, I know that. What´s Elder Jordan Evan Cuthbert made out of.............. One quote that E. Slaugh showed me... I cannot give in to Satan, for I was meant to be a King. That quote means everything to me right now. Although I have a companion that is breaking rules... although I don´t know all the best ways to find investigators, teach or help... I cannot give in. A constant battle. One I will not lose. No regrets.
Wow, big Venting session. I feel better now, though. I need every one of your prayers... But well done with the house! I can´t even imagine what it will be like to see it in two years!! It´s so cool to hear that all the missionaries are coming home! Haha, tell them to pray for me - the Pros...
Jared, don´t worry. I´ve written you a letter, along with everyone else in the family. I´m sending them out today or tomorrow. It will take about 3 weeks or so to get to Mapleton... Haha! I´m so sorry... It´s so difficult, But I´m only allowed one hour on the computer a week. It kills me, receiving letters from Aubrey, Dani, Gma, Melyn and everyone else and not being able to reply right away. Know now that I LOVE YOU ALL and will write you back!!! IT just takes flippin time!! Haha.
Other things that happened this week.... It snowed, finally! It´s been pretty cold for the past couple weeks, but it finally snowed. Not much, not like Utah. E. Rojas was ballistic with happiness, a little annoying actually. He´s almost never seen snow in his life, but... bleh. I really do need to find love in my heart for that Elder. I know I have at least 9 more weeks with him.
Jared, you´re the stud of the world... Working at Subway, making sandwiches that I DREAM about here. They don´t have sandwiches like Subway has sandwiches... Melyn, thank you for your letters, and when you can find the time, please keep writing. I live and breathe for letters from my family. Dad, thank you for your continued support. You, more than anyone, are the reason I´m here, and I will be ETERNALLY grateful for your sacrifice and willingness to let me serve. Mom, you are an angel. The angel in my life. Enough said. Jared, you got guinea pigs?? Ha! cool!!! Write to me, everyone, please!!! In a time like this, I really do feel kind of alone. Maybe there´s a reason for all this... Perhaps this is my time to really step out of the crowd and show my Heavenly Father who I really am...
I need to go, But I love you all. I´m trying not to think about home too much, the fact that i´m with a companion that I don´t want to talk to, the thoughts about home come in uninvited. I love my work here, I just can´t forget that this companionship is really made up of 3 people... Me, E. Rojas and My Savior. The one who I can depend on for EVERYTHING. Go to church, love your family, read your scriptures, and PRAY. Have a connection with the Father who misses you the most. Talk with the one who wants desperately to talk to you. Siempre, Nuestro Padre Celestial tiene su mano para Nosotros. Tenemos que unicamente agarrarlo.
Keep me in your prayers, I love you all. I think of everyone in the ward with such fond memories, the Bishop and his wife. Chris Shurian... and the Priests... Ah, some day. Right now, I´m enjoying, and loving my mission. This time is not my time, and I am serving with all my heart, might, mind and strength. I need Bro. Dennis´ recipe for buttermilk syrup. Also belgium waffles. IF you can get those for me, I would love it!
Until next Monday... Les quiero muchisimo.
Amor,
E. Cuthbert
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